Written by Judith Lynn - Paediatric Nutritionist. Founder and Owner of Little Monkey Nutrition.

As parents, we're the first port of call for our little ones when it comes to learning about the world around them, and that includes their relationship with food. Meal times are not just about nourishing the body; they're golden opportunities to nurture healthy eating habits and a positive mindset towards food. But in the hustle and bustle of daily life, it's easy to overlook the impact our words can have. Let's delve into how we can use positive language to encourage our children to have a healthy relationship with their meals, backed by science and sprinkled with love.

The Science Behind Words

Research in the realm of psychology and nutrition has shown time and again that the language we use when talking about food can shape our children's eating behaviours. A study published in the *Journal of Family Psychology* found that children who were praised for their eating habits were more likely to maintain those healthy habits long-term. This highlights the power of positive reinforcement at the dinner table.

The Impact of Negative Language and Pressure

Negative language and pressure at the dinner table can lead to anxiety and stress around meal times for children. Phrases like "You're so picky!" or "You must eat this now!" can heighten a sense of confrontation and resistance. Research in developmental psychology indicates that children under pressure to eat certain foods may develop aversions to them and show decreased appetite over time.

Positive Strategies for Fussy Eaters

By reframing our language around food and meal times, we can create a more positive, stress-free environment for our children. This not only helps in dealing with fussy eating in the short term but also lays the foundation for a healthy relationship with food that lasts a lifetime. Remember, the goal is to make meal times enjoyable and to encourage a curiosity and appreciation for food, rather than focusing solely on the quantity of food consumed. 

What Not to Say, and What to Say Instead

Instead of: "You have to finish everything on your plate.
Try: "Listen to your tummy, and eat until you feel full."
Forcing children to clear their plates disregards their natural ability to regulate their hunger. Encouraging them to listen to their bodies fosters a healthy relationship with food and prevents overeating.

"Instead of: "Don't eat that, it's bad for you."
Try: "Let's choose something that makes our bodies strong and happy."
Labelling foods as 'bad' can instil a sense of guilt around eating. Focusing on the positive benefits of nutritious food encourages children to make healthy choices without fear of judgment.

*Instead of: "If you don't eat your veggies, you won't get dessert."
Try: "We eat our vegetables because they're good for us, not just to get dessert."
Using dessert as a bribe can elevate it to a prize status, making other foods seem less desirable. Highlighting the intrinsic value of nutritious foods promotes a balanced view of eating.

Instead of: "You never try anything new!
Try: "It's great to explore new foods, let's discover one new taste this week together.
Framing food exploration as an adventure can ignite curiosity and excitement, making meal times more engaging for fussy eaters.

Instead of: "You only eat junk food!
Try: "Let's find healthy foods that taste yummy too.
This encourages children to be open to trying nutritious foods without feeling shamed for their current preferences.

Instead of applying pressure: "Eat this now, or else."
Try offering choices: "Would you like carrots or peas with dinner?
Giving children a sense of control by letting them choose between healthy options can reduce mealtime battles. It's a subtle way of encouraging them to eat healthily without direct pressure.

Instead of: "Are you going to eat that?
Try: "How does that food taste? Can you describe it?
This shifts the focus from the act of eating to exploring the sensory experience of food, making mealtime more about discovery than pressure.

Instead of: "Just one more bite."
Try: "Can you find the yummiest bite on your plate?
Encouraging children to look for something positive about their meal can make them more willing to try another bite without feeling pressured.

Instead of: "Hurry up, we can't sit here all day.
Try: "Let's enjoy our meal together. What was the best part of your day?
This removes the rush and stress from meal times, making them a shared, enjoyable experience, and subtly shifts the focus away from the act of eating.

Instead of: "Please, just eat one more bite."
Try: "It's important to listen to our bodies. How does your tummy feel? Full or a little hungry?
Encouraging children to tune into their own hunger cues respects their autonomy and helps them learn to trust their body's signals.

Instead of: "You need to eat your vegetables."
Try: "Which vegetable do you want to be a superhero today? Broccoli trees or carrot swords?"**
Framing vegetables in a fun, imaginative way can make them more appealing to children and less like a chore they need to complete.

Creating a Positive Mealtime Environment

A positive mealtime environment is key to addressing fussy eating. This includes:

Family meals:

Eating together as a family without distractions like TV can encourage children to try foods they see adults enjoying.

Involvement in food preparation:

Children who help in meal preparation are more likely to be interested in eating the food they've helped to make.

Patience and persistence:

It can take multiple exposures to a new food before a child accepts it. Gentle encouragement and repeated exposure, without force, can gradually reduce fussiness.

The Role of Modelling

Remember, actions speak louder than words. Demonstrating a positive attitude towards food yourself is just as important as the language you use. Studies, including one from the *Journal of Nutrition Education and Behaviour*, have shown that children are more likely to emulate their parents' eating habits. So, by embracing healthy foods and a positive language around eating, you're setting the stage for your children to do the same.

Conclusion

Transforming a fussy eater into an adventurous foodie isn't an overnight process, but with patience, understanding, and the right approach to communication, it's entirely possible. By using positive language, reducing pressure, and creating an encouraging mealtime environment, we can help our children develop a healthy and joyful relationship with food. Remember, the goal is not just to get them to eat but to enjoy and appreciate the wide array of nourishments the world has to offer.