Written by Judith Lynn - Paediatric Nutritionist - Owner and Founder Little Monkey Nutrition

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If you have a family that is prone to drama, mealtimes can be particularly stressful. Mealtime should be a time for family bonding, connection, and relaxation, but when drama is present, it can quickly turn into a time of tension and chaos.

At Little Monkey Nutrition, we understand the challenges you face and are here to offer practical solutions to help transform your mealtime dynamics. Here’s how you can diffuse drama and create a more peaceful dining experience for everyone.

1. Set the tone

Before you even sit down to eat, it’s important to set the tone for the meal. This means having a clear intention for the meal, and communicating it to everyone in the family. You can do this by setting a positive tone, such as expressing gratitude for the meal and the opportunity to be together. This can help to create a more positive atmosphere, and reduce the chances of drama.

2. Establish a Routine

Consistency is key when it comes to managing expectations. Set regular meal and snack times to help regulate your child’s hunger. When there is an established meal and snack times with clear gaps between to allow for hunger, your child is more likely to be ready for meals and therefore less resistant. Also knowing what to expect can reduce anxiety and resistance around eating. 

3. Communicate

Good communication with your child is important when it comes to reducing drama at mealtimes. Explaining to your child at an earlier part of the day about what your plans are for dinner will help to forearm and forewarn your child about what the plans are, meaning that there is no surprises. This helps to manage their expectations.  

4. Involve Your Child in Meal Preparation

Getting them in the kitchen with you to help you prepare the meal is a good way to build trust and understanding, they also get to be part of the meal's creation. You can reassure your child that they do not have to eat it, but that the meal will be plated up and offered.  You can read my blog of on 'Division of Responsibility (DoR)' here  to help explain more about your responsibility at a parent and your child's role in their own nutrition.

Involvement in meal preparation can also pique your child's interest in food.  It gives some dedicated time with them to chat about where food comes from. This engagement can make them more inclined to try the food they've helped prepare. Getting your child involved in meal planning is also a great way to help manage expectations and feel some ownership. 

Asking them what their favourite food is and when meal planning for the week, you can make sure that a couple of their favourite meals are on the meal plan. It is a good idea to include everyone's favourite meal as part of the meal planning and everyone in the family gets to eat the same meal. This allows some give and take.

5. Listen

Listening is one of the best ways to diffuse drama. Ask questions, and really listen to what the other person is saying. This will help to create a space of understanding, and can help to reduce the chances of an argument breaking out. 

For younger children, it is important to watch for body language. A young child gets bored easily and finds it difficult to sit for long periods in a high chair or at the table. Try not to let meals times drag on too long. 

Toddlers needs approximately 20 minutes and school age children no longer than 30 minutes to eat their meal. You will find that they are going to eat what they want in this period of time. 

6. Take a break

If the situation starts to get heated, take a break. This could mean taking a few minutes to step away from the table and take some deep breaths, or even just getting up and making a cup of tea. By getting on with other things whilst your child eats or discussing other topics at the table to distract yourself helps you, but also helps you to focus less on your child. When you get stressed your natural instinct is to keep a close eye on how much they are eating.

We as parents can watch every bite they put in their mouth, get stressed over the mess they make, and worry that they are going to bed hungry, which perpetuates the problem because we  may then start to use negative language. This can overpower, overwhelm and intimidate them which can unfortunately put them off their food. 

7. Create a Distraction-Free Environment

Turn off the television, put away mobile phones, and eliminate toys from the dining area. A distraction-free environment helps your child focus on eating to be mindful eaters rather than distractive eater. 

Parents often turn to devices to help reduce mealtime drama's which unfortunately can solve one problem but create another. If you find that it is impossible to get your child to eat or even sit at the table without the need for a distraction a top tip is to allow it for the first 5 minutes and then switch off and then gradually reduce the time day by day until it is not longer required. 

Sitting together at the table as a family can be stimulating enough to encourage your child to sit without the need for additional distractions. Chatting about your day as a family and involving them in family plans helps to reduce boredom. For more tips on establishing a screen free zone click here

8. Serve “Safe” Foods Alongside New Ones

Always include at least one food your child likes on their plate alongside new or less preferred items. This ensures they have something to eat even if they’re initially resistant to trying new foods, reducing mealtime stress.

9. Keep Portions Small

Large portions can be overwhelming for fussy eaters. Serve small amounts to make the task of eating seem more manageable. Remember, you can always offer seconds if they finish their portion.

10. Stay Calm and Positive

Your reaction to fussy eating or tantrums can set the tone for the meal. Stay calm and positive, offering gentle encouragement without forcing your child to eat. This can help create a more relaxed mealtime atmosphere.

11. Praise Adventurous Eating

Celebrate small victories. If your child tries a new food, even if they don’t like it, praise their willingness to try. Positive reinforcement can encourage more adventurous eating over time.

12.  Seek Support if Needed

If mealtime challenges persist or you’re concerned about your child’s nutrition, don’t hesitate to seek support from a paediatric dietitian or a healthcare professional. You can make an enquiry here

Conclusion

Mealtimes with fussy eaters can be challenging, but with patience, consistency, and a few strategic approaches, you can create a more peaceful dining experience for your family. Remember, every child is different, and what works for one may not work for another. Be willing to experiment with different strategies to find what best suits your family’s needs.

By following these tips, you can help to diffuse drama at mealtimes and create a more positive atmosphere. This will help to create a space of understanding and connection, and can help to foster a more peaceful and enjoyable mealtime experience. For information on fussy/picky eating in your child read this blog 'Should I worry about my fussy eater?'